Can't Sleep

Insomnia sucks. I'm stressed and have too much on my mind. If only it were Friday; I could stay up ridiculously late without much problem. However, I need to be at work in six hours (!?!), and sometime between now and then I have to actually get to sleep.

Tomorrow = me + caffeine.

Mood: Anxious, frustrated, unsettled.
Songs: REM, "Let Me In" and Radiohead, "TalkShowHost"

Back in DC

I'm back in DC after a full day of flying. And although it's nearly 3am, I'm still on Pacific time and don't really feel like going to bed. Since I have to get up in less than 5 hours, though, I should probably give it a shot.

More reflections online in the next few days. This weekend was a good time for contemplation.

I hope you had a great Thanksgiving.

Mood: Content, reflective.
Song: Enya, "Fallen Embers"

Happy Thanksgiving!

Happy Thanksgiving! Today was a slow, relaxing, very pleasant day. Slept in, helped mom with some cooking, helped dad with some chores, and started my next book -- "Snow Crash" by Neal Stephenson.

I also got a little bit of fresh Oregon air. Clean, clean, clean. Nothing on the east coast has come anywhere close to it, although that's probably because I've only been in big cities thus far. Anyway, I love being outside while I'm home, and hopefully I'll experience some of it tomorrow.

Mood: Relaxed, sleepy.
Song: George Winston, "Walking In the Air" (aka "The Snowman" theme)

Busy day of flying

I got to BWI this morning around noon. My flight was at 3:30, but I wasn't taking any chances with the DC-area weather and traffic. I checked in and made it through security in about 15 minutes, so I found myself with 3 hours to kill and nothing to do. I went to an airport bar, ordered lunch, and relaxed for a couple hours. Being early isn't exactly common practice for me. Although it was busy, the bar gave me a small degree of refuge from the hordes of people in the rest of the airport.

The flights (BWI -> DFW -> PDX) were pretty standard. Aisle seats both flights. And although I usually try to fly through Chicago since it's a shorter route than going through Dallas, it's good that I didn't -- apparently it was snowing in Chicago and O'Hare was a nightmare. Both flights were completely full, as one would expect for the day before thanksgiving.

As usual, I raced through a book during my flights. This time I finished a book on bioethics, specially human embryo research. Educational for sure, but a little bit more dense than I'm used to.

Bedtime for me. I'm feeling jetlag for the first time I can remember. Usually I'm so tired when I come home (usually at the end of an academic quarter) that I don't really notice the time difference.

Book finished: Ronald Green, "The Human Embryo Research Debates: Bioethics in the Vortex of Controversy."

Mood: Happy.
Song: Toad the Wet Sprocket, "High on a Riverbed"

A Great Day

Today was everything I had hoped it would be: simple, restful, productive.

I caught up on sleep, did a half dozen loads of laundry, cleaned the apartment, cleaned most of the kitchen, and generally finished a bunch of errands I had been hoping to do for a couple weeks. And now I'm getting in bed just a few minutes after midnight, which is surely a major accomplishment for me.

Have a good week, everyone.

Mood: Satisfied.
Song: Acoustic Alchemy, "The Alchemist"

Changing colors!

This scene is along a path outside my office. The leaves changed colors in just a couple days, and many trees had already lost their leaves by the day I bought my camera to work. Unfortunately, I don't get to see this beautiful scene from my office since I'm not located on the perimeter of the building, but I spend some time outside during lunch to enjoy the view and get some fresh air.

New Template

The blog just passed its second birthday, so I decided it was time for an image overhaul. I'll be trying to learn some CSS in the next few weeks so I can personalize it, but that will depend a lot on my schedule at work.

Anyway, I removed the Comment section from Haloscan and replaced it with the Blogger-driven version. I'm also going to see if I can start adding photos. And, eventually, I'll think about moving the blog to my own .com site. Who knows.

Anyway, enjoy the new site.

Nothing to Report

Hello. It was a slow night here tonight. I'm trying to figure out a workout routine that doesn't involve (a) running after sunset, (b) running downtown, or (c) running during lunch without having a shower available. And that doesn't leave me with very many options.

Work is really busy this week. I'm tackling my first really really big project on my own (or at least as the lead project analyst), and it makes the days fly by very quickly. The negative part? I still have lots and lots to figure out.

It's late. Time to sleep.

Mood: Calm, sleepy.
Song: REM, "Leaving New York"

Letters from Iraq

Hi.

HBO has a special on tonight: Last Letters Home: Voices of American Troops From the Battlefields of Iraq. I can't describe how powerful it is. Please see it.

The war has had an impact on all Americans, certainly some more than others. I don't know anyone in on the ground in Iraq or Afghanistan, and for that reason the war hasn't been as personal for me as for many other people. But it has still made me think -- about politics (of course), about the state of the world today, and about my future goals.

This show is...touching. Parents, siblings, other family members, reading the letters they had received from their loved ones who were killed in Iraq. It's chilling to hear the letters, realizing that many of them were written just a few months ago by soldiers younger than me. The most difficult letters are those that offer goodbyes, as if the soliders knew what their fate would be. The show has pictures of the soldiers, many of them writing these letters. A few of the family members received the letters weeks after their loved ones were killed.

I've always been interested in the military. It probably started when I was a kid; flight simulator video games intrigued me. It wasn't the was aspect that caught my attention. Instead, as you might expect, it was the technological aspects of the fighter planes that most interested me. World War I, World War II, modern day. I loved learning about the changes in technology -- improvements in engine power, development of lightweight alloys, electronic countermeasures -- that shaped these conflicts. I was far more interested in learning the how... how radar worked, how pilots naviagated, how they prepared to land. After a couple years, I was asking how submarines controlled buoyancy, how thermoclines affected sonar, and so on.

During high school, I had pondered the idea of joining the military (i.e., ROTC) but decided that it wasn't exactly what I wanted. During college, I thought of it again when I met a bunch of people in the ROTC program. In the last couple years, I thought more seriously about joining the military as a physician. Of course, this requires several other steps -- namely, getting into med school -- but the idea stuck with me. And after tonight's program, I'm thinking about it again.

Oops. We found out.

I found this internal email posted at DailyKos (care of the Dead Letter Office at GeorgeWBush.org):

----- Original Message -----
From: "dullain Ehrlich" [dullainehrlich@wsrp.org]
To: "'Donald Povia'" [dpovia@georgewbush.com],"'Peter Abbarno'" [peterabbarno@wsrp.org], "Jon Seaton" [jseaton@georgewbush.org]
Sent: Mon, 19 Jul 2004 21:07:52 -0700
Subject: FW: RE: Federal Campaign Law FYI DULLAIN

-----Original Message-----
From: Ann Humphreys [mailto:ash439@gte.net]
Sent: Monday, July 19, 2004 7:03 PM
To: Dullain
Subject: Fw: RE: Federal Campaign Law

----- Original Message -----
From: "ardean anvik" [ardeananvik@hotmail.com]
To: [ash439@gte.net]
Sent: Saturday, July 17, 2004 10:08 AM
Subject: FW: RE: Federal Campaign Law

FYI - I sent a request to Chris and here is his reply

Ardean Anvik

----- Original Message -----
From: "Chris Vance" [chrisvance@wsrp.org]
To: "'ardean anvik'" [ardeananvik@hotmail.com]
Subject: RE: Federal Campaign Law
Date: Fri, 16 Jul 2004 12:52:54 -0700

Will do!

CV

-----Original Message-----
From: ardean anvik
[mailto:ardeananvik@hotmail.com]
Sent: Friday, July 16, 2004 12:47 PM
To: chrisvance@wsrp.org
Subject: Federal Campaign Law

Chris,I took the information you gave me regarding usage of County Party assets (e.g. newsletters, phone banks) for federal candidates to my County Central Committee and asked for direction as to accepting ads from campaigns or individuals. I explained the information you had provided. Steve VanDenover, Mason County Chair, asked me to check with other counties as to how they are handling national candidates, such as Nethercutt, Bush and Congressional Candidates.

I called a few counties and discussed this issue in detail with the State Committeewoman and Editor of the Skagit County Republican newsletter, Ann Marie Humphreys. She was unaware of the prohibiitions that you had outlined to me for newsletters. IN fact she had an ad for George Bush in her latest Newsletter. I told her what you had explained to me about newsletter prohibitions.May I request that you or someone on your staff send directions regarding what Counties can and cannot do as it pertains to newsletters and phone banks usage for federal candidates.

There is a great deal of ignorance out here and many counties are violating the campaign law as I understood it from you. God help us if the Democrats find out.

I think we all need direction. Can you help us?

Thanks, Chris

More dirty tricks

The BBC reports:

A secret document obtained from inside Bush campaign headquarters in Florida suggests a plan - possibly in violation of US law - to disrupt voting in the state's African-American voting districts, a BBC Newsnight investigation reveals.

And the show has reached a new low...

Wonderful.

Employees of a private voter registration company allege that hundreds,
perhaps thousands of voters who may think they are registered will be rudely
surprised on election day. The company claims hundreds of registration forms
were thrown in the trash. Anyone who has recently registered or re-registered to vote outside a mall or grocery store or even government building may be affected.

The I-Team has obtained information about an alleged widespread pattern of potential registration fraud aimed at democrats. Thee focus of the story is a private registration company called Voters Outreach of America, AKA America Votes.
The out-of-state firm has been in Las Vegas for the past few months, registering voters. It employed up to 300 part-time workers and collected hundreds of registrations per day, but former employees of the company say that Voters Outreach of America only wanted Republican registrations.

Two former workers say they personally witnessed company supervisors rip up and trash registration forms signed by Democrats. "We caught her taking Democrats out of my pile, handed them to her assistant and he ripped them up right in front of us. I grabbed some of them out of the garbage and she tells her assisatnt to get those from me," said Eric Russell, former Voters Outreach employee.

Eric Russell managed to retrieve a pile of shredded paperwork including signed voter registration forms, all from Democrats. We took them to the Clark County Election Department and confirmed that they had not, in fact, been filed with the county as required by law.

So the people on those forms who think they will be able to vote on Election Day are sadly mistaken. We attempted to speak to Voters Outreach but found that
its office has been rented out to someone else. The landlord says Voters Outreach was evicted for non-payment of rent. Another source said the company has now moved on to Oregon where it is once again registering voters. It's unknown how many registrations may have been tossed out, but another ex-employee
told Eyewitness News she had the same suspicions when she worked there.

It's going to take a while to sort all of this out, but the immediate concern for voters is to make sure you really are registered. Call the Clark County Election Department at 455-VOTE to see if you are registered.

The company has been largely, if not entirely funded, by the Republican National Committee. Similar complaints have been received in Reno where the registrar has asked the FBI to investigate.

Insomnia

I'm stuck in this cycle...either I'm sleep deprived and never have enough time to catch up on sleep, or I dedicate my weekend to sleeping and then have insomnia during the week.

I know I haven't been writing much recently. Sorry. Give me another two weeks and I'll be back.

Wow. 2 weeks since I last posted? It felt like only a couple days.

Briefly...

Do you ever find that you really like a song but that you feel silly liking it? Listen to Stacie Orrico's "(There's Gotta Be) More To Life" sometime. I'm sorry to admit it, but I just can't get enough of this song. As I told a good friend tonight, at least people can't blackmail you about something if you make it public knowledge. :-)

Mood: Optimistic. (completed 6 in the last 3 days, if you know what I spend my time on)
Song: Take a guess...

Late-Night Reflections

Late-Night Reflections

It has been a very long day. Up at 7, at work by 8:30, out of work by 7:30, home by 8:30, working on applications until now, around 2:30 am. Wonderful.

The application-writing environment reminds me a lot of being a student. As I often did during late-night studying binges at Stanford, I immerse myself in music to make it through the early morning hours. A single small lamp lights my desk, revealing the piles of half-finished drafts, crumpled papers, application instructions from one of three dozen schools, and, in the back, a nearly-finished container of chocolate-covered coffee beans.

But it is the music that reminds me of college more than anything else. Music puts me back in the environment, which reminds me of the people, which reminds me of the entire experience. I tie music closely to the work I'm doing, or at least it brings me back to the month and year when it first became one of my favorites. (Aside: I'm usually terrible at remembering a specific month from years prior. Do I remeber what I was doing in August 1999? Not unless I sit down and figure out what year in school it was. Then I might have a shot. But music? I can usually place the month, year, and location when I first heard the song, or when it became a staple of my all-nighters.) And, for some reason, the music tonight sparked a serious case of college nostalgia.

I'm all honesty, I don't have too many powerful regrets about college. Maybe the whole "not getting into medical school" thing, but I'd like to think that I've had good, educational experiences in the years since I graduated. (I'm certainly a different person in many ways.) And, sure, I have a few minor regrets, but I feel like I took advantage of the time I had.

That being said, I still long for it. Or, perhaps more accurately, I long for it now that I remember it. After being immersed in Stanford for six years (school and employment combined), the move to Baltimore was exactly what I needed. I forgot about Stanford. Not the people, not my friends, but the place and its institutional anchors, sure. At least for a while. In the last few months, I've started to re-discover memories from college that had been hiding in the back recesses of my brain for the last 12 months. (And now that I'm trying to remember the experience, it's frustrating that I don't have more photos from junior or senior year. Or, for that matter, that I didn't sleep enough during those two years to retain even the slightest idea of what happened. Just kidding. Sort of.)

The election marks the passage of time, for sure. I remember sitting in Barristers and watching the returns come in, then running back up to my room to work on a paper. When the Florida debacle began, though, I pretty much gave up on the paper so I could see all the drama unfold.

But I don't really associate the 2000 election with Stanford. Again, it's the music that draws me. Reminds me of parties roaming throughout the Toyon Halls, reminds me of Fridays at TGIF, reminds me of days and nights of revelry. (Sorry for any non-Stanford people reading this. I usually try to avoid specific contextual references, but in this case it's unavoidable.) And sometimes I'm sure that the memories of simple times -- talking with people in the hallway late into the night, making fun of the drunk people coming back from various parties, walking across the Quad on a moonlit night -- are the ones I miss most.

At the same time, I look at where I am now. It's not a bad situation, but I certainly never expected to be here. (Yeah, I know, nobody knows where they'll end up, etc., etc.) I'm in a new city, new apartment, new job, and yet I'm still applying to medical school. It's funny that the only near-constant thing in my life over the last few years (other than my friends and family) is the weight of applications on my shoulders. And yet I press on. I think I have a pretty good chance this year.

I continue to make steady progress on the secondaries. Finished two more tonight, will mail them tomorrow. I really could use a few days off from work to complete applications, but that's not likely to happen.

Many schools ask you to include a photo with your application. I found a good picture of me with some friends earlier this summer, zoomed in on myself, and printed a dozen shots. Not bad. I cut them out and put a little 2"x3" photo of me, smiling, in almost every envelope. Right next to the check with the application fee. It's an odd contrast. See me? Smiling and happy? I'm a great guy who would do great at your school! And here's a bunch of money that I can't really afford to give to you, and I'm giving it to you! Just so you'll take a look at my application. (Seriously, some schools charge $100 for the secondary application to be "processed." Don't get me started.)

I wonder what the admissions people see when they open the envelope. Me, smiling? Some schools process thousands of applications. Do any of the admissions people stop and look at the photo? Do they think, "Hey, that's a good picture of that guy" or "Nice guy, too bad he probably won't get in" or just "Another applicant, another photo".....?

Then, of course, I wonder about the realities of throwing one's self at something with such frequency and such force. At what point do I cede to reality and say, fine, I move on with my life. I tell myself that I'll do exactly that if I don't get in this year, but I'm not entirely sure I belive myself. After 3 years and several thousand dollars, you'd think that I would learn to cut my losses. Maybe I just really wasn't meant to be a doctor. But for now I maintain hope.

Hope. I have plenty of songs for hope. And for now, that's all I need. That and the rest of those chocolate-covered coffee beans.

Mood: You figure it out. "Tired yet optimistic" is the closest I can come.
Songs: Dozens. Right now, a classical piece to put me to sleep.

Weekend Update

I had a friend from Stanford visit me in DC this weekend. Fun times.

Unfortunately, I also had some apartment problems. To make a long story short, my landlord thinks that a cold water distribution line under my floor has a small crack in it. Whatever the cause, a large section of the carpet is now consistently damp (raising the possibility of mildew) and the floorboards in my living area have begun to warp and buckle. Wonderful. So my landlord instructed me to move my nearby furniture -- namely, my desk and queen bed -- to "some other location." Uh huh. Piece of cake. I followed those intstructions, though, and now the apartment complex maintenance crew is currently ripping up the carpet to see what's wrong.

Hello, people? This is a slight problem. (original reference from DailyKos)

"Diebold GEMS central tabulator contains a stunning security hole"

By entering a 2-digit code in a hidden location, a second set of votes is created. This set of votes can be changed, so that it no longer matches the correct votes. The voting system will then read the totals from the bogus vote set. It takes only seconds to change the votes, and to date not a single location in the U.S. has implemented security measures to fully mitigate the risks.

Whether you vote absentee, on touch-screens, or on paper ballot (fill in the bubble) optical scan machines, all votes are ultimately brought to the "mother ship," the central tabulator at the county which adds them all up and creates the results report. The central tabulator is far more vulnerable than the touch screen terminals. Think about it: If you were going to tamper with an election, would you rather tamper with 4,500 individual voting machines, or with just one machine, the central tabulator which receives votes from all the machines? Of course, the central tabulator is the most desirable target.

Findings: The GEMS central tabulator program is incorrectly designed and highly vulnerable to fraud. Election results can be changed in a matter of seconds. [added emphasis]

What I don't understand is how anyone can argue against a paper trail or tighter electronic security. Yes, some people think this is a vast conspiracy to ensure a Republican vote, but let's try to be reasonable. Why would anyone oppose these protections?

Hello.

Some people asked why I stopped blogging. I'd like to think that I didn't truly stop writing; I just got distracted by life. Moved to a new apartment in a new city. Started a new job with a new commute. Explored a new neighborhood. Et cetera. I met old friends, made new friends, and went on a plethora of dates. Carpe diem.

Then, a few weeks ago, my social life slowed down. Time to write? No. I immersed myself in a gut-wrenching process that I've done twice before. Not fun. Now it consumes all my free time. Most of my friends will know exactly what I'm talking about.

But I didn't stop writing because I was busy. I also didn't know what towrite about. Two years ago, I could rant and rave about the Bush tax giveaways to the rich, Kyoto, mercury, etc. But that was around the time ofthe 2002 congressional races when the democrats were virtually nonexistent andthe media was fully buying in to Bush's claims of WMD, yellowcake, imminentthreats, etc. So I could write about issues that bothered me becase I felt they weren't being discussed much elsewhere.

Now? Media overload. I'm simultaneously attracted to and repulsed from this glut of political media. On one hand, there is so much good stuff outside the mainstream media. I check the state polls and electoral vote projections each morning and the progressive blogs (MyDD, DailyKos) every few hours. Plus the WP and NYT. I laugh at people who think that national popular-vote polls have any resemblance to the actual state of the electoral battle.

At the same time, I am sick of hearing _everyone_ talk about politics. It is politics ad nauseum, even for me. It seems that so many people are merely repeating what they have seen in the paper or heard on talk radio. Even liberals are bothering me in this regard. And the Swift Boat issue? Please, for the love of God, enough is enough. Both sides have had their say, and then some. I'm excited to get past the GOP convention and let the debates begin.

At any rate, I'm back.

Welcome back to the real world, self. It has been a hectic couple of months.

Mood: Celebratory
Song: Moby, "First Cool Hive"

Yes, I'm still here, and eventually I will get back to the blog.  Right now, though, I'm so busy that I barely have time to sleep.  So for now I will catch up on sleep and wait to update until this weekend.

Mood: Busy and overwhelmed but making progress.
Song: Michael Kamen, Theme to Band of Brothers

Running in the city is tough. It's also tough when you don't have anyone to run with. And that means that I'm not running nearly enough. Boo.

Now I need to find a gym. I was going to join a "Bally's Total Fitness" club, until I found about 1293817237 websites saying how they were terrible, dirty, poorly maintained, and often tried to scam their members into longer memberships. Stuff like that.

So I'm still looking...

Yay for...

Friday.
Having fun with friends tonight.
Not taking myself too seriously, or at least trying not to.
Exploring the DC museums tomorrow morning.
Going to see Mitch Hedberg tomorrow night.
Having my first dinner party on Sunday night.
Sleep.

I don’t know if I can do this whole working-in-a-city-where-I-don’t-know-many-people thing. I think it would just be easier to go to school and have a spontaneous group of people to hang out with most of the time. Sounds like a good plan, right?

I’m not very happy these days. I think I’ve enjoyed work a lot so far just because it gives me something to do. Otherwise, when I’m home, I really don’t have anything to do or anyone to talk to. I’m still exploring the neighborhood, which is nice, but that’s not a particularly interactive way to spend the evening. So I get home, call people, nobody answers, I try to find things to do. And since I don’t have cable or internet yet, and I’m sick of reading for right now, that doesn’t leave me with much to do.

Song: Seether, “Broken”
Mood: Slightly depressed and a little anxious.

I got a parking ticket tonight. The story behind it makes for a good verbal presentation, but I’m not sure if it will work as well online. Or if I have enough energy to tell it. I’ll give the simplified version, which will still take a little bit of effort...

00:00 I pull into a parking lot. A policewoman was in the lot, writing parking tickets.
00:10 I park in an open spot about 10 feet away.
00:18 My friend and I get out of the car, and we walk ~10 feet to the payment machine. 00:22 I put my credit card in the machine, wait for the receipt to put on the dashboard.
00:24 We look over toward my car. Policewoman is standing behind it.
00:26 Policewoman starts writing in her ticket notebook.
00:27 I get concerned. I walk toward the car.
00:30 I very loudly tell the policewoman that I am paying the parking meter right now.
00:31 Policewoman looks irritated.
00:32 Speaking slowly and using small words, I indicate that I parked only moments ago.
00:35 Policewoman looks irritated still.
00:40 I explain that she was standing 10 feet away when I parked the car.
00:42 Policewoman asks why my friend did not stay at the car.
00:45 We answer that we were both only 10 feet away.
00:49 Policewoman says she cannot stop a ticket once she starts writing it.
00:50 10 seconds pass in silence.
01:00 I argue for another minute. Policewoman begins to show a bit of understanding.
02:00 I ask what time is written on the ticket.
02:05 Policewoman states the current time; my receipt says 2 minutes prior.
02:10 I realize there is no way that I’ll actually have to pay the ticket.
02:15 Policewoman says she will put a note on the ticket to explain the situation.
02:20 “Fine.” I relent. She resumes writing the ticket.
02:30 I walk to the car to put the receipt on my dash. A second ticket wouldn’t help.
02:50 Policewoman hands me the ticket.
03:00 My friend and I walk away.

I went on my first run in DC today. Out the door of my apartment, down 12th St. to the National Mall, around the Washington Monument, and back uphill along 17th to M St.

So, yeah. Running in this humidity is unpleasant. And I can feel that it’s a lot different running along the city sidewalks – which, compared to Baltimore standards, are incredible. But it’s still not as nice as running on grass or even packed dirt, and I could definitely feel the heat radiating off the street and huge buildings as I made my way home. Perhaps next time I’ll run uphill to Dupont so I can enjoy the slight downhill on the way back.

Redeemed.

Oops. I committed a pretty big faux pas (sp?) tonight. I guess that’s what happens when you drink a little too much on an empty stomach. Didn’t get sick, but certainly acted unlike my usual self…

Tonight I had dinner with one of my good friends from college, then went out for drinks with a bunch of students from the summer program he’s enrolled in this summer in DC. They’re all taking courses at Galludet University, which is exclusively focused on the deaf community, so they were all signing to each other at the bar tonight. As the only person who didn’t know sign, it was a little bit confusing. Fun, too. It’s amazing how quickly people can communicate with sign, especially across long distances in bars when the music is too loud to hear anyone!

Still feeling a little lonely. In retrospect, I feel like I should have made a better effort this year to go out on dates with people. I certainly made an effort for a few months, but then I basically got distracted with school and gave up. So it has been quite a while since I’ve had anything significant romantically, and I’m getting impatient. But, like I was saying, DC is full of young, attractive people. Maybe this is my chance…

Anyway, thank goodness it’s the weekend. I slept sooooo little last week(end) because of the move, and I certainly didn’t start catching up on sleep this week until last night. So now it’s almost 2:30 and I’m getting in bed. Alarm? No way. I’ll wake up when I wake up.

Mood: Unsettled. Slightly impatient. And tired.
Song: Jimi Hendrix/Ottmar Liebert/The Corrs, “Little Wing”

Welcome to DC. 10 pm. 75 degrees and humid.

My first thoughts of Washington? Lots of young people. Lots of very, very attractive young people. Everywhere. You couldn’t avoid them if you tried.

So now it’s just me. No roommate. And I’m starting to recognize the +’s and –‘s of that fact. On one hand, I think I was about ready to have my own space. But it’s pretty lonely so far. I was taking the Metro home from Adams-Morgan tonight – one of the more social neighborhoods of NW Washington – and it seemed like a huge majority of the people on the Metro were people roughly my age, all hanging out with their friends.

It’s odd. I can’t think of a situation in which I would have come across that sort of environment in Baltimore. But here in DC, it seems like everyone here is more or less my age.

I’m not accustomed to not knowing people, or at least not knowing anyone in the city. (Even that isn’t totally true; I know about a half dozen people in Washington, but I’m not in touch with them yet.) And, to be happy, I’m quite happy to have this apartment on my own. But it sucks not having anyone around to talk with. And I don’t have an internet connection, so I feel pretty disconnected from the world.

Perhaps it’s a good thing. Maybe I need some time on my own, time to feel independent and slightly isolated and forced to think/work/live/figure stuff out on my own.

I’ve been driving a lot recently…probably averaging 100 miles a day for the last two weeks. Until last week I was commuting from Baltimore (~50 miles each way), and then this week I drove up to Baltimore on Mon-Wed nights to finish moving out. 100 miles is certainly enough distance to give one plenty of time for contemplation. And the fact that I was sleep deprived certainly added to my mental self-contemplation. And without writing or speaking a word, I figured out a lot of issues during my drives, or at least I felt that I was able to come to terms with the challenges that will be facing me in the coming months.

But here I am. For now, I’m feeling lonely and a little bit isolated. And maybe, for now, it’s a good thing. Let’s just hope it doesn’t last _too_ long.

Mood: Distant.
Song: Jack Johnson, “It’s All Understood”

My last post from Baltimore -- tomorrow the move will be complete! And then I will be without internet for a few days, except at work. See you in a week or two.

Haven't had time to write much recently -- leaving the apartment by 6:30am, getting home by 7:30pm. Ugh. And on Saturday I move. I'll resurface once the move is complete...

Mood: Overwhelmed
Song: Dido, "Don't Leave Home"

My first day as A Suit:

1:30am Flight arrives at BWI.
2:00am Arrive home.
2:30am Get everything ready for the morning -- suit, dress shirt, directions, etc.
3:00am In bed.
3:30am (?) Asleep.
6:15am Wake up.
6:20am Really wake up.
6:50am Get on the road.
8:30am Arrive at work.
1:00pm Lunch.
7:45pm Leave work.
8:55pm Get home.
9:30pm Dinner.
10:30pm Get ready for bed.
11:00pm Right now. Read for 15 minutes.
11:15pm Pass out.
.
..
...
(6:00am Wake up...)

Still at home. Enjoying the perks of being here. Eating, sleeping, and reading a ton.

Ran errands with my sister yesterday, then she and I made dinner for our parents.

Today is my last full day here, unfortunately. Although I'm excited to start work, I would much rather stay here for another few days. :-)

Time for lunch.

New book: Arthur C. Clarke, "3001: The Final Odyssey"

Wow -- a week since my last post? I guess I've been pretty distracted...getting ready to move, submitting paperwork to Lewin, cleaning cleaning cleaning, lots of travel, etc.

I'm back in Oregon for a week. Missed my flight out of Baltimore yesterday morning, spent the rest of the day waiting standby to see if I could make it back here. During that time I finished the ~300 pages left in "Plan of Attack." An interesting read, but not the easiest book to finish. The text didn't exactly inspire me to finish the book quickly, other than that I hate leaving books unfinished and had some others that looked more promising. So I finished it and started Orwell's "1984" but my eyes are sooo tired of reading.

One week until I start work. I'm both excited and terrified. I'll be doing some pretty long days for the first two weeks -- I'll be commuting from Baltimore, and I would really like to avoid the I-95/I-495 rush hour insanity. On a side note, when do you think rush hour was actually just one hour? And when people were actually rushing instead of being stopped in traffic? At any rate, my drive from Baltimore to Falls Church will probably take at least an hour and a half, maybe as much as two hours, even if I avoid the heaviest rush hour times. So...in to work at 8:00ish, leave by 7:00ish?

I went price-shopping at Ikea last week. I think I can get a nice futon/sofa and a bed for a toal of $800 or less. They have some pretty sweet sales going on right now, but I can't buy something now and have them deliver it in a month. Damn.

Time to go eat, sleep, or be lazy while I can.

Broken Engagement by Gen. Wesley Clark, as published in the May edition of the Washington Monthly.

"The strategy that won the Cold War could help bring democracy to the Middle East-- if only the Bush hawks understood it."

Back from Texas, Tim and Sarah's wedding, and my vacation to South Padre Island.

An incredible trip...I'm not too thrilled to be back in Baltimore. The good news is that I picked an apartment in DC and mailed in my deposit.

Too much on my mind right now. Need to mentally digest for a few days.

New book: Bob Woodward, "Plan of Attack"

Mood: A whole bunch of jumbled emotions. Cheerful and sad; resigned and hopeful.
Song: Billy Joel, "The Longest Time"

I wish I were a little less perfectionistic in regard to selecting a DC apartment. I look, I peruse, I look at dozens of offers, I change my mind, I decide, I change my mind, so on and so forth.

Ugh.

I just need to pick one and get it over with.

Oh, yeah, I also have to be at the airport in 5 hours for a flight.

Mood: Anxious
Song: Norah Jones, "Sunrise"

I recently found the website of Joel Veitch, a British guy who makes pseudo-animations including the recent ad campaign of Quiznos Subs. You know, the singing rodent-like creatures? They're hilarious and/or terrifying.

Here they perform the Moon Song. Good stuff.

Ron Brownstein's weekly column in the LA Times:
GOP Leaders Leaving Sacrifice for the Generations to Come

With Democrats almost daily beseeching Sen. John McCain (R-Ariz.) to run as John F. Kerry's vice president on a national unity ticket, this might not be the most opportune time for senior Republicans to question whether McCain still belongs in the GOP.

But that's exactly what House Speaker J. Dennis Hastert (R-Ill.), ordinarily a more sure-footed political operator, did in an exchange with reporters last week.

"A Republican?" Hastert asked with mock incredulity, when asked about McCain, who has served in Congress as a Republican for more than 20 years and won seven states in the race for the GOP presidential nomination just four years ago.

What heresy from McCain prompted Hastert to question his party loyalty? The senator had challenged the propriety of cutting taxes during a time of war. Here's what McCain told a Washington conference last week:

"Throughout our history, war has been a time of sacrifice…. But about the only sacrifice taking place is that by the brave men and women fighting to defend and protect the liberties we hold so dear, and that of their families.

"It is time for others to step up and start sacrificing. Just in the last year we have approved legislation containing billions and billions of dollars in … pork barrel projects, huge tax breaks for the wealthy, and … a corporate tax bill estimated to cost $180 billion…. This is a far cry from sacrifice."

Republicans, especially in the House, have plenty of reason to chafe at McCain. Since his 2000 race, he's followed an increasingly independent course, often teaming with Senate Democrats to block the true-believer conservative initiatives the House regularly disgorges. And House members, of either party, hate lectures from senators.

But in this case, McCain is articulating what ought to be a bedrock principle for conservatives, not to mention liberals, moderates and everyone else from Rep. Dennis J. Kucinich (D-Ohio) to Vice President Dick Cheney: Every generation, as much as it possibly can, should pay for its own defense.

Today, President Bush and the Republican majority in Congress are engaged in a project unprecedented in American history — pursuing massive tax cuts while the nation is at war. The result is that we are paying for the war in Iraq, like the war in Afghanistan and the entire post-9/11 buildup in military strength and homeland security, almost entirely by increasing the national debt.

Bush is presiding over annual federal deficits so large that the Congressional Budget Office projects the publicly held federal debt will soar by 50% through 2010. In effect, that means passing on the bill for our defense to our children.

No earlier generation of Americans has done anything like it. McCain is right; it's a mark of shame.

It's true that previous generations have increased the national debt to help pay for wars. But only after first contributing more themselves, often significantly more, through higher taxes.

Abraham Lincoln, the first Republican president, signed into law the income and inheritance tax to help fund the Civil War. Republican President William McKinley imposed excise taxes and reinstated the inheritance tax during the Spanish American War.

In World War I, under Democrat Woodrow Wilson, Washington increased the top rate on the income tax from 7% to 77%. In World War II, under Franklin D. Roosevelt, Washington increased the number of Americans subject to the income tax tenfold and raised the top rate to 91%. Washington raised income taxes even to fund more limited conflicts in Korea and Vietnam.

None of these burdens were easy for Americans. During the first three years of World War II, the share of the economy consumed by federal taxes nearly tripled. The share jumped by almost a third during the first two years of the Korean War and by about one-sixth at the height of the Vietnam War.

But today, after Bush's huge tax cuts in 2001 and 2003, and the smaller reductions approved in 2002, federal revenue is moving in the opposite direction, even as the bills mount for defending the nation.

When Bush took office, federal revenue equaled about 20% of the economy. This year, the administration anticipates that Washington will collect revenue equal to 15.7% of the economy — the lowest level since 1951. Both administration and congressional forecasters expect that number to rise in the years ahead. But both project that for the indefinite future, the federal government will collect less revenue, as a share of the economy, than it did when Bush was inaugurated.

Wedded to the tax cuts, Bush and the Republican congressional majority have developed a single strategy for funding all of their priorities: Put it on the next generation's tab. The war Bush launched in Iraq has already cost more than $125 billion. He has just requested another $25 billion to fund that war — the first installment on a bill likely to reach between $60 and $80 billion this year.

Beyond the war itself, he is pursuing a defense buildup that will increase Pentagon spending by $1 trillion after inflation over the next decade. Spending on homeland security is soaring, too.

And Bush has not proposed to raise a penny in revenue to pay for any of this.

Last fall, when Sen. Joseph R. Biden Jr. (D-Del.) proposed to offset part of Iraq's cost by rolling back the income tax cuts benefiting the most affluent 1% of families, Bush and Senate Republicans joined to kill the measure. Just one Republican voted for the principle that Americans at home should pay the bill for those fighting abroad: John McCain.

Biden will be back this summer with another amendment to roll back tax breaks for the top earners when the Senate votes on the latest $25 billion for Iraq. That amendment will force Congress and the country to confront the same question that Hastert denounced McCain for even asking: If Iraq is important enough to bleed for, isn't it important enough to pay for?

Big progress on the application, getting ready for an important week. Hopefully by the time I left for Texas on Friday (for the wedding), I'll have an apartment set up for next year and my application will be nearly complete.

Mood: Improving
Song: Seether, "Broken"

‘Cause I’m broken when I’m open
And I don’t feel like I am strong enough
‘Cause I’m broken when I’m lonesome
And I don’t feel right when you’re gone away

Today was a good day.

Made progress on AMCAS, did more apartment research for DC, got some exercise.

I re-read my last post from yesterday. Wow. One of the problems with a blog is that, unlike a regular conversation, there's not someone there to tell you when you're (a) not making any sense or (b) clearly need to take a deep breath (or a stiff drink) and just let something go. And, besides, being angry sucks.

So here I am, hopefully back to normal.

Today was a good day.

Mood: On the mend.
Song: Norah Jones, "Sunrise"

The sun came up this morning. It's a new day.

Now I can move past yesterday's whining and get on with my life. :-)

Ugh.

So bored.

Sick of no one being around. Lonely, in general. Lonely for friends or lonely for a relationship? Either, I suppose.

This whole week has been strangely detatched from reality. Spent most of my time in the apartment, didn't talk to many people, didn't do much during the days, did even less at night. I read a few books; don't really remember them much. Saw a few movies, don't remember them either.

Maybe I'm not ready to live without a roommate next year.

Or maybe I'm just sad that my friends are gone and, more recently, I feel a little bit used by a certain person. Maybe it's that I made a lot of friends this year, but not good friends. I'm friends with a lot of people, but not so friendly with any of them that I know exactly what they're up to this week, or even where they are.

Perhaps I'm just losing my mind because I don't have enough things to do. My only major project right now is my med school application, which many people know is the last thing I want to do.

I know this is a petty issue, but I feel pretty much consumed by it right now. Nowhere to go, few people to talk with, and not much to do until the end of next week.

The scary thing is that I'm getting a little bitter right now. I'm not entirely sure why. Do I spread myself too thin with my friends, so that I get to know a lot of people, but only on a superficial level? In the last two weeks, as the year was drawing to a close, a lot of people I know came up to me and said I was a nice guy. Sometimes they went so far as to making it jokingly accusational: "Why are you such a nice guy?" Another person told me a story about how they needed something during a party, and one of the people they were talking to made a joking comment that they should ask me to go get it since I probably would. People in the past have said I'm too cooperative or too accomodating and that I need to think more about myself. It's situations like these that make me stop and consider those comments seriously.

And now I want to call the person who turned me down earlier today and really tell her how I feel. Not in a "please go out with me!" way, but instead in a "what the hell did you think you were doing? you are so inconsiderate. stop fucking around with my mind" sort of way. But that's not gonna get anything done, other than making me feel better for a mere 15 seconds and assuring that this person never speaks to me again. And I hate burning bridges.

So.......what to do. Movie? No, movies always include romance or a beautiful woman, neither of which is going to help me relax. Med school application? I can never focus on that at night; I just end up reading CNN.com or the NY Times or the Washington Post. Reading? Perhaps, except that I finished most of the books on my shelf, or at least those that are interesting to read. I'm not going to start reading cookbooks or textbooks.

(deep breath) Alright, self. One week to your trip for the wedding, then a week here, then a week in Oregon, then I start work. That's not much time. Try to enjoy it while you can. Tomorrow, it's back to the track, back to the gym. Time to burn off this mood, whatever it is...

Mood: Lonely
Song: Michael Kamen, theme from "Band of Brothers" and REM, "Strange Currencies"

Oops!

As a fairly optimisic individual about human nature, I recently made the silly mistake of actually trusting someone. My mistake.

"Yeah, I'm sorry if I led you on, but I'm sort of seeing someone right now. I mean, we were together, then we weren't, and right now I think we are. And I would still like to have dinner with you, but you and I both know how dangerous that could be, right? So I'm sorry if I led you on."

If you led me on? No, not really. I just thought that somewhere in your mix of "I've been wanting to ask you out all year" and "Why don't you and I spend some time together?" and "This can totally work out because we'll both live in the same neighborhood next year," I thought you had actually suggested that you might actually be interested. Oops.

Hello world.

I re-joined society today: drove around the city, bought groceries and other essentials, went out for lunch, etc. I don't think I had been out of Baltimore in at least two weeks, maybe almost a month.

Yet, at the same time, I dove into my med school application today, an activity that will surely remove me from day-to-day society as quickly as I entered it. My goal? Have it done by the end of the month. My true deadline is the day before I start work -- June 16th -- but I would like to have most of it complete long before then.

Tomorrow's goal? Wake up before noon.

Mood: Calm, a little bit complacent.
Song: ELO, "Do Ya"

Blah. This is one of those nights when I actually wish that school wasn't over and that there were actually people around to hang out with. Sitting here and looking for housing isn't exactly my idea of a good time...

After three days of work, the apartment is clean. This is incredible.

I'm doing some background research as I prepare to apply for med school again, and I couldn't find the paperwork that indicated when I had taken the GRE. No problem! I just searched the blog, assuming that I had posted something online after finishing the exam, and -- voila! -- had the date within a few moments.

Oh, yeah, one more thing. Shania Twain? Hotttttttttttttt.

Hallelujah...

Roll credits.

It's the end of the movie. The plot lines come full circle. As expected, the protagonist is learning the lessons that he should have realized long ago.

The girl who took his breath away but didn't seem interested? He should have just kept up the fight; she was too busy to return his calls, but she wished he had called one more time. Another love lost.

The guy who everyone else got along with, yet always seemed to be angry at our main character? Surprise! He was indeed a nice guy, but our character didn't take the initiative to talk with him and break through the stereotypes. Another friendship missed.

The friend who always seemed a little distant and unwilling to talk? She was just looking for an invitation to share her story, but it never came, so our character waits until now to find that out.

In the end, it seems like everyone is okay, but only after experiencing these silly lessons that should have been easily recognized and resolved from the beginning.

The audience gets up and leave the theater, enjoying the catharsis of seeing our character mature and learn to finally make the right decisions. But in many cases, it's too late to make corrections. Oops.

I can't think of many things more frustrating than learning some very basic lessons after an unnecessarily long struggle with them. C'mon, I'm a pretty smart guy...why did it take me this long to learn these lesssons? I don't particularly want to be that movie character who takes forever to make some basic realizations about life.

All my stress about the girl? Pointless. My confusion with my supposed enemy? Meaningless. The worries from not connecting with my friend? Could have been easily remedied long, long ago.

(sigh) Do I learn lessons from this? Yes. Is it just incredibly frustrating to see what I lost, left behind, and let slip by? You better belive it.

Mood: Disenchanted and a little bit depressed. Detatched from myself. But strangely, distantly hopeful.
Song: REM, "Let Me In"

He gathered up his loved ones and he brought
Them all around to say goodbye, nice try.

And so it begins, part II.

Today was incredible for a bunch of reasons, the most obvious of which is the end of my graduate school academic requirements. But there were so, so many more. I'm pretty sure I'll wake up tomorrow with a new outlook on the near future...

Note to self: We only do this life thing once, so why don't you stop stressing out and instead try to live a little bit? Things will work out.

I think I'm depressed.

I don't feel specifically upset or morose or anything like that, but I have all the other symptoms -- consistent anxiousness, indecisiveness, lack of appetite, exhaustion, etc.

The most frustrating thing is that I don't know why.

Worried about the end of my program at Hopkins? Probably.
Already feeling detatched from my friends here? Yes.
Concerned about my ability to work at Lewin? Not as much, no.
Recent concerns about my dating life? Yeah, that too.

Ugh. It's odd...I know I don't have any logical reason to be upset, but I'm also painfully aware that it doesn't make any difference.

Time for a glass of wine and a movie on TV.

Mood: Blahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
Song: Ozzy, "I Just Want You" and Van Halen, "Humans Being"

As school comes to a close, I thought I could look forward to a few weeks of relaxation. But as my mind stopped filling itself with the continual day-to-day reminders of my academic responsibilities, it started to fill with the continual day-to-day reminders of other aspects of my life.

Who am I going to ask out next week?

Where am I going to live in DC?

When am I going to finish my med school application?

I hate worrying about things in the abstract. I can be stressed about a paper I have to write, but I know that it's due in four days and after that it will be over. With these abstract concerns with no real deadline, though, my mind could run endless circiles around them and not make any progress whatsoever.

Oh, wait, that's what has been happening for a week now...

Mood: Anxious, but for no good reason.
Song: Foo Fighters, "Everlong" (acoustic)

It's getting late, and I have to be up early (5 hrs from now? 4 and a half?) so this will be quick:

I will miss Friends.

Hold on a second. Before you release your hitmen or let slip the dogs of war, let me explain. First, I will readily admit that Friends was not the greatest comedy ever or my favorite time of the week or anything along those lines. It was just a TV show. And, for those fanatics out there, I'll admit that I was not the most die-hard watcher of the show. But over 10 years, I certainly watched a lot of episodes and enjoyed most of them.

I'll miss the idea of Friends. A simple show about six people, living their lives, facing the silly-yet-not-entirely-unrealistic challenges of young adulthood, finding jobs, finding love, losing love, finding it again, and experiencing the various oddities that make life...well, life. Were some things unrealistic? Sure. Did some plots seem a bit contrived? Of course! But did it address many of the entering-the-real-world concerns and odd experiences that we've experienced in our short adult lives? For me it did.

And Friends was decent. (And, no, I don't mean 'decent' as defined by the FCC.) I mean that it was simply about normal people living relatively normal lives. More importantly, I believe it was fundamentally good. It didn't rely on violence. It had romance without relying on the near-pornography of certain other shows. And it certainly related more to my life than does America's new opiate-like addiction to the barren meaninglessness of reality television.

A Washington Post article online tonight said,

Now, "scripted" TV shows seem to be falling out of favor as so-called "reality" shows that feature real people in allegedly unrehearsed situations proliferate. NBC promoted its own tasteless reality entry, "Fear Factor," during the "Friends" finale; shots from next Monday's show featured girls in bikinis being covered with bugs and worms and then locked in coffins. Real quality stuff from NBC's ruthless, try-anything boss Jeff Zucker.

Friends was just about love and facing challenges together and making sure we didn't take life too seriously.

Maybe Friends was the first long-running sitcom for my generation. 90210 was huge, sure, but I didn't watch it very often and my impression in hindsight was that we -- and, yes, I'm defining "we" pretty narrowly here -- were too young to understand the inflated drama of the "real world" it referred to.

And maybe Friends will be the last sitcom of my generation, at least while we're still young. The Post article concludes, "Will another "Friends" come along to replace this one? There hasn't been another "Seinfeld" or, for that matter, another "Cosby Show" either. At the once-mighty networks, and for the viewing nation, too, this is truly no laughing matter."

Was I a rabid fan of Friends? No.

But was it an entertaining show with a positive message? Certainly.

Will I miss it? You bet.

And so it begins.

School is nearly over for the year. I have one paper, one presentation, and one final remaining. For all intents and purposes, it's almost nothing.

However, this week I started...

• looking for apartments in DC
  
• determining my budget for next year
  
• planning my school-to-work transition, including travel
  
• writing my personal statement for medical school, and
  
• filling out AMCAS for the third time
  

I'm particularly thrilled about the last two. Ugh.

And so it begins.

Early evening blogging. I almost never sit down and type now.

I just took a walk to the local grocery store, just a few blocks down the street. I was a little foggy-headed...insomnia last night, lots of caffeine this morning, class all day, mid-afternoon mental haze. It was raining lightly.

No thoughts in my head. Except dinner, perhaps, since that's why I was going to the store. For the most part, though, I just walked quietly down the street, absorbing everything around me.

Birds chirping. Runners getting their exercise before sunset. Lots of traffic, still. Pause, wait for crosswalk signal. Go. Smell of bread coming from the Subway on the corner, loud car going by, people walking with flowers toward the hospital one block east. Man walking dog.

It felt like I was in a movie, experiencing the world around me without really interacting very much with it. I walked through the store, picking up what I needed, but in an oddly detatched sort of way. Without day-to-day stress on my mind, I became strangely interested in each aspect of my shopping experience, mostly just regular little questions.

What sort of bread should I buy? How much cereal do I need? I think salmon is for dinner tonight. Must buy onions. Yum, chocolate milk. Buy that too.

But that was it. No concerns about the complexities of dinner, no thoughts of jobs or classes or responsibilities, not the traffic or the rain or the upcoming tasks I had to accomplish. Just me in that moment. And I wasn't working or trying to maintain this feeling; it just sort of washed over me.

And I enjoyed each little bit of it. I slowly walked back from the store, feeling the rain, seeing the puddles, and enjoying the peacefulness. The three blocks back to my apartment probably took 10 minutes.

Maybe this is what "stopping to smell the roses" really is.

Today was a good day. I accepted my job offer from The Lewin Group, finished a bunch of tasks I'd been trying to get done for at least a week, and did a lot of planning to get ready for the crazy next few months.

Today was a good day.

Mood: Relieved
Song: Enya, "China Roses" and Evanescence, "Eternal"

I hate turning down job offers, even if I think they're not the best option for me right now. Moments ago, I called the Urban Institute and left a message for the senior researcher with whom I spoke last week regarding a position they had available. He seemed like a nice guy, but the job details seemed only so-so to me and I heard through the grapevine that it probably wasn't a good match to me. However, despite all that, I sort of feel guilty about turning them down; one of my TAs (who works there) had put in a good word for me, so I was one of the first people they called. I'm sure she'll understand my decision, but I just don't like thinking of what could have been.

What do I mean by that? Well, for just a moment, it's fun to sit back and think of all the cool job opportunities right now, and all of the really nice people I've met who could be my future coworkers. To see the range of jobs I could have, the types of places I could work, the skills I could learn, the impact I could have. For just a moment, I can see them all in my mind's eye.....

All the possible futures from this decision.

And as I become more selective, finding the job that's right for me, they blink out of existence, one by one. I know it's necessary, but I hate seeing those opportunities disappear.

The decision is down to 2 organizations, and I'm leaning very heavily towards one. One more day ought to do it.

My list of possible items to prepare for our end-of-the-academic-year party on May 15th:

Main course, all entirely home-made:


• Rosemary or basil gnocchi with roasted corn-tomato puree
  
• Caribbean jerk chicken burritos with lemon-onion-cilantro salsa
  
• Salmon with dill and caper sauce (or the corn-tomato puree from above...)
  
• Red snapper (or salmon) with vegetables en papillote (in parchment)
  
• Stir-fried orange beef and peppers
  
• Flank steak with Madiera sauce
  
• Broiled leaks with oregano and black pepper (and Madiera?)
  
• Sun-dried tomato risotto with basil
  
• Tabouleh salad
  
  

  Dessert:
  

• Crepes with chocolate sauce and raspberry coulis
  
• Chocolate souffle with Devonshire cream and Grand Marnier
  
• And others, as I think of them...
  

The week of April 26th. Here is it. This week I make my decision about my job for next year, complete nearly all of my remaining academic work, and take the first step toward the next stage of my life.

Mood: Reflective anticipation.
Song: Dire Straits, "Brothers in Arms"

What a beautiful day. 70 degrees, sunny, a slight breeze, and the annual Hopkins "Spring Fair." I walked around the Fair with some friends, saw the various vendors, bought some yummy food, and relaxed in the shade while listening to a student jazz band. Incredible. And the best part? I have almost no academic work to do.

I think I've committed a mistake that I thought I'd long since leaned to avoid - getting too emotionally attached to a girl who is one of my close friends. (sigh) Certainly not a good idea.

As far as I remember, I learned to stop doing this sometime near the end of high school. Date them or be their friend, but not both. Or, perhaps, become a friend as you date them, but that's pretty tough. So here I am, spending a lot of time woth one of my friends yet feeling completely unable to admit how I feel. Not an ideal situation.

In retrospect, it's not too surprising. My dating history really suggests that I date my friends, not the people I meet at parties or at bars. But, for some reason, it hadn't been a problem in the last few years, perhaps because I had a solid realtionship for a while, or otherwise because I wasn't making too many new friends at the time.

So, for now, I sit here and think.

Current mood: Reflective sadness.
Current songs: Michael Kamen, "Band of Brothers - Main Theme" and Toad the Wet Sprocket, "All Right"

Okay, I lied. This week has been busy with job applications/interviews/offers so I didn't write as promised after my last post.

Roger Ebert wrote a worthwhile column today about the recent FCC regulations and the possible demise of Howard Stern. Nothing revolutionary, but it's interesting. Check it out.

Happy Friday!

The last episode of Band of Brothers was tonight. It's really hard to write anything after watching it...everything else is trivial in comparison.

I'll have a real post tomorrow.

Two unrelated goals that I've set for myself in the last few days:

1. Go out on more dates and, if I'm lucky, try to get a relationship started. Being single is getting a little boring, so let's see what I can do in the next few months.

2. Train for and run the California International Marathon. December 5, 2004. I've been thinking about this marathon for a couple years, and I think now is the time to do it. I won't have as much time once I'm in med school, so this year seems like a good time to train.

The MCAT is tomorrow. And, wow, my heart goes out to those people. After surviving that life-altering exam twice, I can certainly empathize with the people who are laying in bed right now, trying desperately to sleep despite their anxiety about the exam, which is set to begin in about 5 hours.

Yay for the weekend, but this is going to be a busy one. One month left of school and lots to complete before then.

I got a job offer from the Lewin Group! Now I just need to finish my interviews with CMS and Urban, decide if I'm applying to med school this year or next, figure out what city I want to live in, and then actually accept a job and apply for med school. Ugh. I have an overwhelming feeling that the next four months are going to be pretty brutal.

So...if I take the job at Lewin, do I stay for one year or two? The Plan didn't call for me to take off another year before med school, but part of me thinks it would be a really good idea to apply now but take two more years off. However, at the same time, I have many friends who decided to pursue medicine just a few years ago yet are already almost physicians, while I've been pretty set on that path for....6 years? 8 years? and yet I'm still not in med school. This sounds petty, but it's the number one thing that is currently driving me crazy. Will I burn bridges by leaving after a year? Maybe. But will I be applying for jobs anytime soon after that? No. Hmmmmmmmmmm. Do I pick a place to work based on where it would be easiest to leave after a year? (CMS) The thing about Lewin is that I get such a positive vibe from the people there that I really don't want to limit myself to just a year there...but at the same time, I know that this consulting experience won't necessarily contribute at all to my future career in medicine. (sigh) Around and around and around I go. I'm slowly going crazy.

Time for rest.

Current mood: Anxious.
Current song: Enya, "Boadicea"

Hmmmm. Somebody from the California Dept. of Social Services checked my blog this morning. And they searched for me by name. (pause) Who could that be? Now that I'm busy applying for jobs, I've become quite paranoid about who is checking this site. There's not anything on here that would really impact my employability, but it's still a little weird.

I've been digging through financial statements for a couple hours now for my Case Studies in Healtcare Management course. And so far I actually enjoy it. I certainly am not an expert in financial management, but I really enjoy understanding the basic analytical tools of finance. And although I don't plan on going into business per se, I enjoy the fact that I can dig into a balance sheet and actually understand what it's telling me.

Only one month of class left. Wow.

I emailed Prof. Sapolsky and actually got a response from him! That wouldn't have been too surprising while I was still at Stanford, but I didn't expect him to write back and actually engage me in a discussion. Very exciting.

C'mon weekend! I need a few days to catch up on chores.

Sleep time. I'm taking a friend to CMS tomorrow morning for an interview, so I can't sleep in. Oh well.

Band of Brothers, episode #2. Incredible.

I recently finished ""A Primate's Memoir," written by my favorite Stanford professor, Robert Sapolsky. Surprisingly, I found a NY Times article about his research (same topic as the book) on the web this morning. Weird. What a cool guy.

Ironically, I'm stressed. (Sapolsky's research and courses are all about the physiology of stress.) Mostly about jobs...I have another interview at CMS later this week, and I should be getting a yes/no response from Lewin any day now. (sigh) And then I have to figure out my future plans for school vs. work and how long I'll be doing the latter before returning to the former. (If you followed that, I'm impressed.) So I'm jittery right now, and that makes my assignment for financial management especially difficult. I can work on certain subjects while I'm really amped; finance is not one of them.

And the weather is not helpful. The forecast for the next 5 days is something like: "Rain - Showers - Thunderstorms - Rain - Showers."

Time for some audio catharsis.

Current mood: Unsure. Nevous/tired/lazy/blah.
Current song: Toad the Wet Sprocket, "Listen"

I went to a bar in Baltimore last weekend and had a "Maximator." All I knew was that it was a German beer. I get the bottle, pour it into a glass, and check out the label. "Munchner Bier - Since 1328 AD."

Thirteen twenty eight?

Goodness. Let's see some other things that happened in 1328 besides the establishment of this brewery/recipe:

• Invention of the sawmill spurs shipbuilding. Yay. Ships and lumber both proved to useful for the next, say, 650 years.
  

• The last heir of the Capetian dynasty dies and is replaced by the first ruler of the Valois dynasty. "Because the English kings are also descended from the Capetian line, England attempts to claim the French crown. The Capetian dynasty began in 987 AD when "Hugues Capet ascends to the Frankish throne...replacing the Carolingians. Initially the Capetians wield little authority beyond their capital at Paris, but in time their power grows and with it the importance of Paris as an administrative, ecclesiastical, and artistic center." No more Capetians. Thank goodness. Is this when the British decided they wanted France?
  

• The famed John Wycliffe was born at Wycliffe-on-Tees. "He was a professor in the University of Oxford and in 1381-1383 he worked intensely with aides to translate the English Bible. He preached against the countless atrocities of the Vatican and he stated that the Bible alone, without tradition, was the sole rule of faith. In AD 1415, the Council of Constance condemned Wycliffe and in 1428 Wycliffe's bones were burned by papal command." Goodness. I'm not particularly religious, but the current pope seems a little more amiable. Personally, I was a big fan of Wycliffe's earlier works.
  

• Ivan Danilovich Kalita (aka Ivan I) becomes Grand Prince of Moscow. No comment.
  

• In the "last days" of the fourth Roman Empire (?) or perhaps the late Roman/Byzantium empire, Andronicus Paleologos (aka Andronicus III) gains power in the state/region of Romania, including areas of modern-day Turkey and Greece. As far as I can tell, he didn't do an especially good job...it looks like he lost two major cities. Oops.
  

• Let's see if I can figure this one out. The Tughluq dynasty begins in ancient India when Muhammad-bin-Tughluq takes power. He attemps to "consolidate his empire by curbing the rebellions of 1327 AD by his cousin Baha-ud-din Garsharp in the Deccan and the other of Kishulu Khan, the governor of Multan and Sind in 1328AD." Unfortunately, "Muhammad bin Tughluq's engagements with his domestic affairs made him turn a blind eye to the Mongols who made use of his opportunity and invaded India in 1328 AD." Letting the mongols invade? Whoops. History has to be laughing a little bit there.
  

Please, if you haven't seen the HBO miniseries Band of Brothers, please take the time to watch it during the next few months while it's showing on the History Channel. The ads aren't kidding when they say you will never be the same again. This miniseries easily competes with the greatest films I've ever seen.

Take the time to watch it. I promise you won't be disappointed.

Today was a good day.

I feel like I caught up on so many things today.

Cleaned my room.
Paid bills.
Finished TA tasks for the week.
Started two projects for classes next week.
Inquired about a position a consulting firm; learned I'm still under consideration.
Applied to another 6 jobs.
Received interviews from 2 potential employers, and will hopefully receive another one tomorrow.
Worked out for 3 hrs, finally started serious cardio/running again.
Talked with my parents about my job situation.
Took a nap.
And I'll sleep in tomrrow morning!

The interviews were probably the high point...at least I have a reasonably good chance at getting a job now...

Current song: Gypsy Kings, "Galaxia" and Sarah McLachlin, "Stupid"
Current mood: Relief.

2 things about today:

1. I got two interviews this morning within 15 minutes. Incredible. Both are at CMS.

2. I've accomplished more in the last six hours than I had in the previous week. Applied to jobs, cleaned my room, paid bills, did research, completed TA tasks, and more. Yay for productivity.

Current song: Matchbox Twenty, "Downfall"
Current mood: Pleasantly surprised.

My schedule this morning, actual vs. expected.

Expected: Wake up at 8:00.
Actual: Sleep through alarm, wake up at 8:30.

Expected: Catch the 8:40 bus for a 9:00 class.
Actual: Catch the next bus, set to arrive at 9:05, which should get me to class by 9:20.

Expected: The 9:05 bus will actually show up.
Actual: It does not.

Expected: The next bus, at 9:10, will leave quickly since the 9:05 didn't show up.
Actual: It does not.

Expected: The 9:10 bus will get me to the downtown campus by 9:25.
Actual: You guessed it. Nope. I actually get to campus by 9:45. Class ends at 10:10.

Expected: Now that I'm actually on campus, I'll go to class.
Actual: Nope. Guest lecturer, and I would have only been in class for 20-30 minutes. C'mon, I have more important things to do than waste half an hour.

Expected: Go back home, waste time until my afternoon class.
Actual: Go home, eat breakfast, apply to 8 jobs, finish a presentation, and pay my bills. Talk about unexpected!

We walk up to a bar in NYC where we're set to meet some friends. We were instructed to tell the bouncer that we were "with the Scott party in the back room."

---

Bouncer: "IDs?"

Us: "Here you go. We're with the party in the back room."

Bouncer: "Which party?"

Us: (with uncertainty in our voices) "Scott...?"

Bouncer: "Saht?"

Us: "Yeah, Scott."

Bouncer: "Okay, lemme check with this guy." (He walks over to the other guy monitoring the door.) "They're here for the Saht party."

Other guy: "Saht? Or Scott?"

Bouncer: "Yeah, that one."

Other guy: "Is it the one in the back room?"

Bouncer: (looks at us)

Us: "Yeah."

Bouncer: "Yeah."

Other guy: "Okay, c'mon over." He gives us wristbands. "The Saht party is all in the back room. These wristbands are good until midnight." (We enter the bar.)

Turns out that we were with the Saht party, but they weren't in the back room, and that those wristbands gave us an open bar, and that they were supposed to cost $35. Otherwise, there was a $10 cover chage. Yet, somehow, even withough really knowing what we were doing at all, we managed to get into a bar for free, then drink for free for the rest of the night. Yay for working the system, even without trying.

A few items of note.

-- I went to a bagel place last week that was advertising a few low-carb bagels. What's wrong with this picture?

-- Subway is currently advertising items that are either low-fat or lot-carb. What are we going to do when scientists discover that high-protein diets contribute to some horrific disease? There won't be any food left to eat. Just wait until they try to sell you you their new line of low-far, low-fat, low-protein, low-sodium, trans-fat-free, Atkins-friendly wraps.

-- Earlier this week, in an ill-conceived idea for my birthday party decorations, I found myself at Home Depot, pushing a cart with about $200 of lumber, wooden fence lattice, and steel garden lattice up to the checkout line. Suddenly, logic struck, and I promptly returned all of those materials. Total amount spent at Home Depot that day? $16. Total amount spent on other decorations? No comment.

So far, this week has been unexpectedly stressful. Still no word on the job at Lewin. Lots of academic stuff to do, but mostly the annoying start-of-the-quarter things...buying books, getting class materials organized, etc. My TA position has also given me a lot to do, but once the class is organized and people get organized (and thus I receive fewer emails) it shouldn't be too bad.

I'm going to see if I can make it to bed by midnight, which doesn't happen much around here....

Project du jour: finding an internship on Capitol Hill for this quarter...hopefully with Sen. Ron Wyden (D-OR)...

A little reminder of one of my favorite articles from The Onion...

---

"New Crispy Snack Cracker to Ease Crushing Pain of Modern Life"

EAST HANOVER, NJ—The dull, all-consuming ache of late 20th century life will be slightly alleviated next week when America's supermarkets receive their first shipments of Nabisco's new "T.C. McCrispee's" line of snack crackers.

Available in Regular, Garden Ranch and Zesty Cheddar flavors, the new crackers will flood consumers' bodies with salt, fat and starch, momentarily producing a pleasing sensation of warmth and nourishment, and detaching them from their otherwise constant and crushing sense of profound grief.

T.C. McCrispee's are widely expected to be Nabisco's most anguish-relieving snack-food product since the 1983 introduction of Double Stuf Oreos.

"We at the Nabisco Corporation are aware of the hideously bleak emptiness of modern life," Nabisco director of corporate communications Mel Krijak said. "That's why we're proud to introduce T.C. McCrispee's as the antidote you've been reaching out for. Our tasty new snack cracker will, if only for a few lovely moments, significantly lessen the aching, gnawing angst that haunts your very soul."

The history of life on earth, according to a Nabisco press release for the new crackers, can be summed up as billions of years of darkness, uncertainty and horror. Further, it says, the life of each individual organism on the planet is "no more than a meaningless blip on the cosmic timeline, riddled with almost unbearable suffering, under the unseeing eye of a blind idiot god."

"Test subjects given samples of T.C. McCrispee's described them as 'pleasingly flavorful,'" Krijak said. "And the satisfying crunch distracted them from the parade of tears that is life."

According to T.C. McCrispee's product-development director Wayne Innis, the new cracker was specially engineered to match the tastes and habits of their target market—the approximately 220 million members of the American lower and middle class. Nabisco market research indicated that the typical member of this demographic is a hollow human shell, devoid of hope, ambition and any chance of improving his or her station in life.

The new cracker, Innis asserted, further compensates for the consumer's vast, howling emptiness by giving him or her the option of adding toppings to the cracker's surface, such as aerosolized cheese or sausage bits. "By eating T.C. McCrispee's in such a manner," he said, "consumers will be deluded into thinking they have taken actual steps to improve their lives, or—in the rare case of a vegetable topping—their health."

"We're selling more than a cracker here," Krijak said. "We're selling the salty, unctuous illusion of happiness."

Consumers are eager to sample the new crackers. "I am trapped in an unending loop," Harwich, MA, telemarketer Ron Washburn said. "Perhaps when T.C. McCrispee's arrive at my neighborhood ShopKo supermarket, I will be able to confront the world with more than a deadened, glassy stare."

Said Roanoke, VA, clergyman Rev. James Forrest: "I live a shadow life, each day going through the motions of maintaining a church, preparing sermons I no longer believe in, and counseling parishioner after identical parishioner. Perhaps this new cracker can give me a reason to go on, a source of strength, if you will."

TV ads for the new crackers begin airing later this week. An animated cracker with a straw hat and cane will leap off the box and extol the virtues of the product in song form, ending on the slogan, "It's The Crispety, Crunchety Respite Of The Doomed."

Though an eight-ounce box of T.C. McCrispee's will contain approximately 12 servings, Nabisco expects most consumers, gripped by unending hopelessness and despair, will eat the entire box in one sitting.

"To really gain the full impact of T.C. McCrispee's great snackin' taste, it is best to gorge on multiple servings while staring glassy-eyed at a Coach rerun," Krijak said. "No, this will not rescue you from the throbbing, meaningless void that is modern American life. But here at Nabisco, we are confident that for millions of Americans it will seem, if only for a few seconds, as if it has."

Back to the grind. My last academic term as a graduate student, at least in this program. Current issues:

-- School. I'm still trying to figure out my schedule for this term. For once, I don't have a schedule full of required classes, just a single required seminar each week.

-- Jobs. I need to apply to more of them. I had a great intervew at The Lewin Group during spring break, but I haven't heard back from them yet. This week I'll probably apply to a few more posititions at The Advisory Board Company, the Kaiser Family Foundation, and a few others.

-- Sore muscles. I'm on an intense workout schedule with a friend in my program. We're doing the "Intense 12-Week" workout routine from Men's Health, except that we're trying to do most of it in 8 weeks. Sound like fun to you?

-- Housing. At some point soon I have to start looking for housing in DC, assuming I get a job near there.

-- Med school applications. Not even gonna comment on this one.

That's about it for the big issues. This term ought to be relatively relaxed, at least when compared to the last two terms of complete insanity. Once I get a job, things will be looking a lot better...

Mood: Sore. Cautiously optimistic.
Songs: Audioslave, "I Am the Highway" and ELO, "Fire on High"

One week since my last post? I guess that's a sign that I'm enjoying spring break. Maybe I'll get around to it this weekend...

Third term is over. Now I sleep. :-)

I get some sort of sick joy out of working my academic butt off while the world sleeps...

Current mood: Extreme clarity of thought.
Current songs: Portishead, "Roads" / REM, "Daysleeper" / Rusted Root, "Drum Trip" & "Ecstacy"

So, if it's 2:30am and I have two exams tomorrow, shouldn't I be studying? Yes. What am I doing? Watching the X-Files. I figure that after studying for 12 hours today, I deserve a short break.

Common-sense check of the day, #1: Today, JHSPH had its annual photo of all public health students standing in front of the school. Who thought that having the photo during the middle of finals week would be a good idea?

Common-sense check of the day, #2: I'm sure you heard the story of the Georgia woman who tried to pass a fake $1 million bill at Walmart. I'll bite my tongue and not say anything mean about people from Georgia.

From CNN:

"Both MoveOn and the Media Fund have received contributions from controversial billionaire financier George Soros, a Hungarian immigrant who has said ousting Bush this year is now the 'central focus of my life.'"

Comment and Trackback functions. Cool. Thanks Mike. Now I just have to figure out permalinks. And how to store the files for the internet buttons on my site.

A long time ago, I wondered why everyone in academia always talked about the Cox multiple logistic-regression model for proportional hazards. Now I understand.

(Professional statisticians: Okay, okay, I know the the proportional-hazards model isn't technically a multiple logistic-regression model, but that's how my course introduced the concept, more or less. My professor also explained that one can look at the Cox model as a multiple logistic-regression model that considers both the occurrence of an event and the time until that event. Or something like that. Rosner says the same thing. So hopefully that's good enough?)

Okay, this is my site of the day. Have you heard of The Corrs? According to Yahoo's entertainment page (which, yes, is a questionable source) they're one of the most successful pop groups in the world today, but they've broken into the US charts only in the last few years. But that's not the point.

What is the point? That they are a very, very attractive band. Or at least the three sisters are. The lead singer, Andrea, was voted the most attractive woman in the world by a few publications. The violinist looks a lot like Charlotte from Sex and The City. My favorite, though, is Caroline. She's the drummer. A hot Irish female pop star drummer? Yes please. Take a look at those eyes. Wow.

I had my first blog visitor from Estonia last night. Time to celebrate.

Open question: Why do I always reach my highest daily productivity between midnight and 2am? Either I go to sleep and lose productivity, or I stay awake to gain productivity and therefore lose sleep. Boo.

To bed I go.

Current mood: High energy and working hard. And now trying to lose that as quickly as possible so I can sleep. (?!?)
Current song: Dead or Alive, "You Spin Me Around"

Okay, I have to stop blogging and resume studying. Seriously. Last post for the night.

The analysts say the the administration is going to attack Kerry on changing his mind? Kos had a great list of Bush's flip-flops. I usually don't lift others' blog content, but this is just too good not to list here...

• Bush is against campaign finance reform; then he's for it.
  
• Bush is against a Homeland Security Department; then he's for it.
  
• Bush is against a 9/11 commission; then he's for it.
  
• Bush is against an Iraq WMD investigation; then he's for it.
  
• Bush is against nation building; then he's for it.
  
• Bush is against deficits; then he's for them.
  
• Bush is for free trade; then he's for tariffs on steel; then he's against them again.
  
• Bush is against the U.S. taking a role in the Israeli Palestinian conflict; then he pushes for a "road map" and a Palestinian State.
  
• Bush is for states right to decide on gay marriage, then he is for changing the constitution.
  
• Bush first says he'll provide money for first responders (fire, police, emergency), then he doesn't.
  
• Bush first says that 'help is on the way' to the military ... then he cuts benefits
  
• Bush-"The most important thing is for us to find Osama bin Laden. Bush-"I don't know where he is. I have no idea and I really don't care.
  
• Bush claims to be in favor of the environment and then secretly starts drilling on Padre Island.
  
• Bush talks about helping education and increases mandates while cutting funding.
  
• Bush first says the U.S. won't negotiate with North Korea. Now he will
  
• Bush goes to Bob Jones University. Then say's he shouldn't have.
  
• Bush said he would demand a U.N. Security Council vote on whether to sanction military action against Iraq. Later Bush announced he would not call for a vote
  
• Bush said the "mission accomplished" banner was put up by the sailors. Bush later admits it was his advance team.
  
• Bush was for fingerprinting and photographing Mexicans who enter the US. Bush after meeting with Pres. Fox, he's against it.
  

Yes, I should be studying, but this is too good to pass up. Jesse informs me that the Bush administration is encouraging Army units deploying to Iraq to ask for donations from businesses, friends, and family to purchase makeshift steel armor for their Humvees and body armor for themselves. Why? Because the Pentagon doesn't have enough of them.

From the weekly Democratic Party radio address:

"The Army's 428th Transportation Company, headquartered in Jefferson City, Missouri, shipped out to Iraq two weeks ago. They had to ask local businesses to donate the steel to armor their vehicles. When the Bush Administration heard about this, their response wasn't `never again.' It was `good idea' - they emailed instructions to other units letting them know how they could use homemade armor to protect their own Humvees from attacks. I believe our soldiers deserve better.

"Even more shocking, tens of thousands of other troops arrived in Iraq to find that - with danger around every corner - there wasn't enough body armor to protect them. Many of their families on the homefront - mothers and fathers, husbands and wives and children - were forced to raise the money to buy it for them. They went to their neighbors for donations - and dipped into their savings to give their sons and daughters the equipment to save their lives - which the Army should be providing. Last month, a young newlywed in Virginia even gave her husband body armor for Valentine's Day as he prepared to ship out to Iraq."

I'm going to be sick.

I've only been in the library for 24 of the last 96 hours. That's not enough, considering that it's finals week. Maybe I can aim for 12 more tomorrow. Sure, that's healthy.

On a somewhat related note, I find myself listening to songs in my "Embarassing Pop Music" and "Stereotypical 80s Rock Hits" folders far too often at this time of the quarter...as well as publicly acknowledging that I'm doing so. Not a good sign. :-)

So apparently I can buy "momentofclarity.com" for $199 or "momentsofclarity.com" for a few hunded more.

Um...

My laptop broke, or at least the monitor isn't working right now. This means that I can't really work on my papers anywhere except my apartment, which is not good news. I really don't like working in my apartment.

(sigh)

Soooooo frustrated right now. Where did last night's determination go???

The weekend is finally here. And I plan to work nearly the entire time, but spring break is here after that.

Headphones on, music up, and Excel data in front of me. That doesn't sound quite right, but for now it will have to do.

Oh, yeah, and the rest of my family is currently vacationing in New Zealand. That doesn't make this paper look any more exciting. :-)

Current mood: Determination.
Current song: Sash, "Ecuador"

I've had a headache for about 6 hours how, so I think tonight's a good night to go to bed early. I should be finishing up a paper, but it will have to wait.

Almost weekend....

Gotta to to bed soon, but I thought I'd pass on this cool website: Yes.Net is a site that tracks songs being played on radio stations in major US markets. So if you hear a song that you don't know, remember the time that it plays, then go home and find the radio station on the website, then pick the specific time you heard it. Cool, eh?

I finished my second-to-last problem set of the term tonight. Alright. I still have two papers to write, and a few exams next week. But that's next week. So at least I survived another week. :-)

Time to sleep. Tomorrow needs to be a productive day.

Current mood: Cautiously optimistic.
Cuurent song: BT, "Somnambulist (Simply Being Loved)"

Senate votes to reauthorize assault weapons ban. Yay.

On a completely unrelated note, I had a dream last night about medical school interviews. (It was the first such dream since mid-2002, around which time I had them about three times a night.) I was at the final interview for a school, and the Dean said that the school would be happy to admit me as long as I could recall the words to the Battle Hymn of the Republic. But I couldn't remember them, so I didn't get into the school.

What was that about highly-caffeinated energy drinks messing with your brain? :-)

I think I had an epiphany tonight about dating. More to follow.

I borrowed this post from a friend, who borrowed them from GatorGSA.
------------
12 Reasons Why Gay Marriage Will Ruin Society:

1. Homosexuality is not natural, much like eyeglasses, polyester, and birth control are not natural.
   
   
2. Heterosexual marriages are valid because they produce children. Infertile couples and old people cannot get legally married because the world needs more children.
   
   
3. Obviously gay parents will raise gay children because straight parents only raise straight children.
   
   
4. Straight marriage will be less meaningful, since Britney Spears's 55-hour just-for-fun marriage was meaningful.
   
   
5. Heterosexual marriage has been around for a long time, and it hasn't changed at all: women are property, Blacks can't marry Whites, and divorce is illegal.
   
   
6. Gay marriage should be decided by the people, not the courts, because the majority-elected legislatures, not courts, have historically protected the rights of minorities.
   
   
7. Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are always imposed on the entire country. That's why we only have one religion in America.
   
   
8. Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people makes you tall.
   
   
9. Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage license.
   
   
10. Children can never succeed without both male and female role models at home. That's why single parents are forbidden to raise children.
    
    
11. Gay marriage will change the foundation of society. Heterosexual marriage has been around for a long time, and we could never adapt to new social norms because we haven't adapted to cars or longer lifespans.
    
    
12. Civil unions, providing most of the same benefits as marriage with a different name are better, because a "separate but equal" institution is always constitutional. Separate schools for African-Americans worked just as well as separate marriages will for gays & lesbians.