I hate turning down job offers, even if I think they're not the best option for me right now. Moments ago, I called the Urban Institute and left a message for the senior researcher with whom I spoke last week regarding a position they had available. He seemed like a nice guy, but the job details seemed only so-so to me and I heard through the grapevine that it probably wasn't a good match to me. However, despite all that, I sort of feel guilty about turning them down; one of my TAs (who works there) had put in a good word for me, so I was one of the first people they called. I'm sure she'll understand my decision, but I just don't like thinking of what could have been.

What do I mean by that? Well, for just a moment, it's fun to sit back and think of all the cool job opportunities right now, and all of the really nice people I've met who could be my future coworkers. To see the range of jobs I could have, the types of places I could work, the skills I could learn, the impact I could have. For just a moment, I can see them all in my mind's eye.....

All the possible futures from this decision.

And as I become more selective, finding the job that's right for me, they blink out of existence, one by one. I know it's necessary, but I hate seeing those opportunities disappear.

The decision is down to 2 organizations, and I'm leaning very heavily towards one. One more day ought to do it.