An interesting weekend. A date, a trip to see a friend in PA, a lot of sleep, and an unfortunately small amount of work accomplished. And a whole lot coming up this week.

Although I feel like I'm finally back in a normal routine, I still feel conflicted about a variety of issues. Dating, the election, my classes, the job search, etc. I have plenty of issues on my mind that _feel_ more important than classes, but that will change soon. Fear and necessity are both excellent motivators.

I feel like I'm losing my ability to communicate empathy. In the last few days, I've talked with a few friends who have been in really tough situations -- mostly relationship issues, but a few with career concerns -- and suddently I'm hesitant to ask about their problems. I certainly still have the impulse to ask, but something in the last few years has made me hold back from asking those direct, probing questions. Perhaps it's just the fact that I'm not an RA anymore, and it's not my job to ask those questions. But it's more than that. Maybe since I don't live around these people or see them on a regular basis, I can't judge their emotions as well, so I hold off on my questions so I don't anger anybody. Without these basic questions, though, I feel like I can't do a thing to empathize with these people. Argh. Or, I think, maybe it just seems like I don't care since I don't follow up with any questions. That's not good either. Ugh.

I hate seeing people in pain and not being able to do anything about it. Maybe that's another reason why I want to be a doctor.

Perhaps my concerns above just reflect a certain dissatisfaction with my current friendships and/or social life. I know tons of students at Hopkins. With only a few exceptions, though, I feel that I only barely know these people. And that's not a normal place for me to be. Don't get me wrong; I don't feel the need to have a tight emotional bond with all of my classmates, but it would just be nice to feel like I'm getting to know them as more than just the people I see in class.
I could just have unrealistic expectations. After all, I 've only been in Baltimore for 6 months, but it certainly seems that I'm not getting to know my classmates as quickly as they're getting to know each other.

The campaign also has something to do with this. The volunteers were so busy in Manchester that it was hard to remember everyone's names, but we were so unified by our common purpose that it felt like we bonded exceptionally quickly up there.

Hmmmmm. I guess I could say I feel lonely. That word carries connotations of relationships, though, and although I'm looking for a realtionship, "lonely" doens't fully describe what I'm feeling. Maybe isolated is a better term, I suppose?
Now the challenge is to spend more time with people this term and still excel academically. Cheers to that!

On a closing note, make sure you see "Love Actually" when it is released for rental. Such a good movie.

Current Mood: Didn't I just write about this? I guess I feel isolated and a little lonely.
Current Song: Dido, "Here With Me" and Portishead, "Roads"