So far, this week has been unexpectedly stressful. Still no word on the job at Lewin. Lots of academic stuff to do, but mostly the annoying start-of-the-quarter things...buying books, getting class materials organized, etc. My TA position has also given me a lot to do, but once the class is organized and people get organized (and thus I receive fewer emails) it shouldn't be too bad.

I'm going to see if I can make it to bed by midnight, which doesn't happen much around here....

Project du jour: finding an internship on Capitol Hill for this quarter...hopefully with Sen. Ron Wyden (D-OR)...

A little reminder of one of my favorite articles from The Onion...

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"New Crispy Snack Cracker to Ease Crushing Pain of Modern Life"

EAST HANOVER, NJ—The dull, all-consuming ache of late 20th century life will be slightly alleviated next week when America's supermarkets receive their first shipments of Nabisco's new "T.C. McCrispee's" line of snack crackers.

Available in Regular, Garden Ranch and Zesty Cheddar flavors, the new crackers will flood consumers' bodies with salt, fat and starch, momentarily producing a pleasing sensation of warmth and nourishment, and detaching them from their otherwise constant and crushing sense of profound grief.

T.C. McCrispee's are widely expected to be Nabisco's most anguish-relieving snack-food product since the 1983 introduction of Double Stuf Oreos.

"We at the Nabisco Corporation are aware of the hideously bleak emptiness of modern life," Nabisco director of corporate communications Mel Krijak said. "That's why we're proud to introduce T.C. McCrispee's as the antidote you've been reaching out for. Our tasty new snack cracker will, if only for a few lovely moments, significantly lessen the aching, gnawing angst that haunts your very soul."

The history of life on earth, according to a Nabisco press release for the new crackers, can be summed up as billions of years of darkness, uncertainty and horror. Further, it says, the life of each individual organism on the planet is "no more than a meaningless blip on the cosmic timeline, riddled with almost unbearable suffering, under the unseeing eye of a blind idiot god."

"Test subjects given samples of T.C. McCrispee's described them as 'pleasingly flavorful,'" Krijak said. "And the satisfying crunch distracted them from the parade of tears that is life."

According to T.C. McCrispee's product-development director Wayne Innis, the new cracker was specially engineered to match the tastes and habits of their target market—the approximately 220 million members of the American lower and middle class. Nabisco market research indicated that the typical member of this demographic is a hollow human shell, devoid of hope, ambition and any chance of improving his or her station in life.

The new cracker, Innis asserted, further compensates for the consumer's vast, howling emptiness by giving him or her the option of adding toppings to the cracker's surface, such as aerosolized cheese or sausage bits. "By eating T.C. McCrispee's in such a manner," he said, "consumers will be deluded into thinking they have taken actual steps to improve their lives, or—in the rare case of a vegetable topping—their health."

"We're selling more than a cracker here," Krijak said. "We're selling the salty, unctuous illusion of happiness."

Consumers are eager to sample the new crackers. "I am trapped in an unending loop," Harwich, MA, telemarketer Ron Washburn said. "Perhaps when T.C. McCrispee's arrive at my neighborhood ShopKo supermarket, I will be able to confront the world with more than a deadened, glassy stare."

Said Roanoke, VA, clergyman Rev. James Forrest: "I live a shadow life, each day going through the motions of maintaining a church, preparing sermons I no longer believe in, and counseling parishioner after identical parishioner. Perhaps this new cracker can give me a reason to go on, a source of strength, if you will."

TV ads for the new crackers begin airing later this week. An animated cracker with a straw hat and cane will leap off the box and extol the virtues of the product in song form, ending on the slogan, "It's The Crispety, Crunchety Respite Of The Doomed."

Though an eight-ounce box of T.C. McCrispee's will contain approximately 12 servings, Nabisco expects most consumers, gripped by unending hopelessness and despair, will eat the entire box in one sitting.

"To really gain the full impact of T.C. McCrispee's great snackin' taste, it is best to gorge on multiple servings while staring glassy-eyed at a Coach rerun," Krijak said. "No, this will not rescue you from the throbbing, meaningless void that is modern American life. But here at Nabisco, we are confident that for millions of Americans it will seem, if only for a few seconds, as if it has."

Back to the grind. My last academic term as a graduate student, at least in this program. Current issues:

-- School. I'm still trying to figure out my schedule for this term. For once, I don't have a schedule full of required classes, just a single required seminar each week.

-- Jobs. I need to apply to more of them. I had a great intervew at The Lewin Group during spring break, but I haven't heard back from them yet. This week I'll probably apply to a few more posititions at The Advisory Board Company, the Kaiser Family Foundation, and a few others.

-- Sore muscles. I'm on an intense workout schedule with a friend in my program. We're doing the "Intense 12-Week" workout routine from Men's Health, except that we're trying to do most of it in 8 weeks. Sound like fun to you?

-- Housing. At some point soon I have to start looking for housing in DC, assuming I get a job near there.

-- Med school applications. Not even gonna comment on this one.

That's about it for the big issues. This term ought to be relatively relaxed, at least when compared to the last two terms of complete insanity. Once I get a job, things will be looking a lot better...

Mood: Sore. Cautiously optimistic.
Songs: Audioslave, "I Am the Highway" and ELO, "Fire on High"

One week since my last post? I guess that's a sign that I'm enjoying spring break. Maybe I'll get around to it this weekend...

Third term is over. Now I sleep. :-)

I get some sort of sick joy out of working my academic butt off while the world sleeps...

Current mood: Extreme clarity of thought.
Current songs: Portishead, "Roads" / REM, "Daysleeper" / Rusted Root, "Drum Trip" & "Ecstacy"

So, if it's 2:30am and I have two exams tomorrow, shouldn't I be studying? Yes. What am I doing? Watching the X-Files. I figure that after studying for 12 hours today, I deserve a short break.

Common-sense check of the day, #1: Today, JHSPH had its annual photo of all public health students standing in front of the school. Who thought that having the photo during the middle of finals week would be a good idea?

Common-sense check of the day, #2: I'm sure you heard the story of the Georgia woman who tried to pass a fake $1 million bill at Walmart. I'll bite my tongue and not say anything mean about people from Georgia.

From CNN:

"Both MoveOn and the Media Fund have received contributions from controversial billionaire financier George Soros, a Hungarian immigrant who has said ousting Bush this year is now the 'central focus of my life.'"

Comment and Trackback functions. Cool. Thanks Mike. Now I just have to figure out permalinks. And how to store the files for the internet buttons on my site.

A long time ago, I wondered why everyone in academia always talked about the Cox multiple logistic-regression model for proportional hazards. Now I understand.

(Professional statisticians: Okay, okay, I know the the proportional-hazards model isn't technically a multiple logistic-regression model, but that's how my course introduced the concept, more or less. My professor also explained that one can look at the Cox model as a multiple logistic-regression model that considers both the occurrence of an event and the time until that event. Or something like that. Rosner says the same thing. So hopefully that's good enough?)

Okay, this is my site of the day. Have you heard of The Corrs? According to Yahoo's entertainment page (which, yes, is a questionable source) they're one of the most successful pop groups in the world today, but they've broken into the US charts only in the last few years. But that's not the point.

What is the point? That they are a very, very attractive band. Or at least the three sisters are. The lead singer, Andrea, was voted the most attractive woman in the world by a few publications. The violinist looks a lot like Charlotte from Sex and The City. My favorite, though, is Caroline. She's the drummer. A hot Irish female pop star drummer? Yes please. Take a look at those eyes. Wow.

I had my first blog visitor from Estonia last night. Time to celebrate.

Open question: Why do I always reach my highest daily productivity between midnight and 2am? Either I go to sleep and lose productivity, or I stay awake to gain productivity and therefore lose sleep. Boo.

To bed I go.

Current mood: High energy and working hard. And now trying to lose that as quickly as possible so I can sleep. (?!?)
Current song: Dead or Alive, "You Spin Me Around"

Okay, I have to stop blogging and resume studying. Seriously. Last post for the night.

The analysts say the the administration is going to attack Kerry on changing his mind? Kos had a great list of Bush's flip-flops. I usually don't lift others' blog content, but this is just too good not to list here...

• Bush is against campaign finance reform; then he's for it.
  
• Bush is against a Homeland Security Department; then he's for it.
  
• Bush is against a 9/11 commission; then he's for it.
  
• Bush is against an Iraq WMD investigation; then he's for it.
  
• Bush is against nation building; then he's for it.
  
• Bush is against deficits; then he's for them.
  
• Bush is for free trade; then he's for tariffs on steel; then he's against them again.
  
• Bush is against the U.S. taking a role in the Israeli Palestinian conflict; then he pushes for a "road map" and a Palestinian State.
  
• Bush is for states right to decide on gay marriage, then he is for changing the constitution.
  
• Bush first says he'll provide money for first responders (fire, police, emergency), then he doesn't.
  
• Bush first says that 'help is on the way' to the military ... then he cuts benefits
  
• Bush-"The most important thing is for us to find Osama bin Laden. Bush-"I don't know where he is. I have no idea and I really don't care.
  
• Bush claims to be in favor of the environment and then secretly starts drilling on Padre Island.
  
• Bush talks about helping education and increases mandates while cutting funding.
  
• Bush first says the U.S. won't negotiate with North Korea. Now he will
  
• Bush goes to Bob Jones University. Then say's he shouldn't have.
  
• Bush said he would demand a U.N. Security Council vote on whether to sanction military action against Iraq. Later Bush announced he would not call for a vote
  
• Bush said the "mission accomplished" banner was put up by the sailors. Bush later admits it was his advance team.
  
• Bush was for fingerprinting and photographing Mexicans who enter the US. Bush after meeting with Pres. Fox, he's against it.
  

Yes, I should be studying, but this is too good to pass up. Jesse informs me that the Bush administration is encouraging Army units deploying to Iraq to ask for donations from businesses, friends, and family to purchase makeshift steel armor for their Humvees and body armor for themselves. Why? Because the Pentagon doesn't have enough of them.

From the weekly Democratic Party radio address:

"The Army's 428th Transportation Company, headquartered in Jefferson City, Missouri, shipped out to Iraq two weeks ago. They had to ask local businesses to donate the steel to armor their vehicles. When the Bush Administration heard about this, their response wasn't `never again.' It was `good idea' - they emailed instructions to other units letting them know how they could use homemade armor to protect their own Humvees from attacks. I believe our soldiers deserve better.

"Even more shocking, tens of thousands of other troops arrived in Iraq to find that - with danger around every corner - there wasn't enough body armor to protect them. Many of their families on the homefront - mothers and fathers, husbands and wives and children - were forced to raise the money to buy it for them. They went to their neighbors for donations - and dipped into their savings to give their sons and daughters the equipment to save their lives - which the Army should be providing. Last month, a young newlywed in Virginia even gave her husband body armor for Valentine's Day as he prepared to ship out to Iraq."

I'm going to be sick.

I've only been in the library for 24 of the last 96 hours. That's not enough, considering that it's finals week. Maybe I can aim for 12 more tomorrow. Sure, that's healthy.

On a somewhat related note, I find myself listening to songs in my "Embarassing Pop Music" and "Stereotypical 80s Rock Hits" folders far too often at this time of the quarter...as well as publicly acknowledging that I'm doing so. Not a good sign. :-)

So apparently I can buy "momentofclarity.com" for $199 or "momentsofclarity.com" for a few hunded more.

Um...

My laptop broke, or at least the monitor isn't working right now. This means that I can't really work on my papers anywhere except my apartment, which is not good news. I really don't like working in my apartment.

(sigh)

Soooooo frustrated right now. Where did last night's determination go???

The weekend is finally here. And I plan to work nearly the entire time, but spring break is here after that.

Headphones on, music up, and Excel data in front of me. That doesn't sound quite right, but for now it will have to do.

Oh, yeah, and the rest of my family is currently vacationing in New Zealand. That doesn't make this paper look any more exciting. :-)

Current mood: Determination.
Current song: Sash, "Ecuador"

I've had a headache for about 6 hours how, so I think tonight's a good night to go to bed early. I should be finishing up a paper, but it will have to wait.

Almost weekend....

Gotta to to bed soon, but I thought I'd pass on this cool website: Yes.Net is a site that tracks songs being played on radio stations in major US markets. So if you hear a song that you don't know, remember the time that it plays, then go home and find the radio station on the website, then pick the specific time you heard it. Cool, eh?

I finished my second-to-last problem set of the term tonight. Alright. I still have two papers to write, and a few exams next week. But that's next week. So at least I survived another week. :-)

Time to sleep. Tomorrow needs to be a productive day.

Current mood: Cautiously optimistic.
Cuurent song: BT, "Somnambulist (Simply Being Loved)"

Senate votes to reauthorize assault weapons ban. Yay.

On a completely unrelated note, I had a dream last night about medical school interviews. (It was the first such dream since mid-2002, around which time I had them about three times a night.) I was at the final interview for a school, and the Dean said that the school would be happy to admit me as long as I could recall the words to the Battle Hymn of the Republic. But I couldn't remember them, so I didn't get into the school.

What was that about highly-caffeinated energy drinks messing with your brain? :-)

I think I had an epiphany tonight about dating. More to follow.

I borrowed this post from a friend, who borrowed them from GatorGSA.
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12 Reasons Why Gay Marriage Will Ruin Society:

1. Homosexuality is not natural, much like eyeglasses, polyester, and birth control are not natural.
   
   
2. Heterosexual marriages are valid because they produce children. Infertile couples and old people cannot get legally married because the world needs more children.
   
   
3. Obviously gay parents will raise gay children because straight parents only raise straight children.
   
   
4. Straight marriage will be less meaningful, since Britney Spears's 55-hour just-for-fun marriage was meaningful.
   
   
5. Heterosexual marriage has been around for a long time, and it hasn't changed at all: women are property, Blacks can't marry Whites, and divorce is illegal.
   
   
6. Gay marriage should be decided by the people, not the courts, because the majority-elected legislatures, not courts, have historically protected the rights of minorities.
   
   
7. Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are always imposed on the entire country. That's why we only have one religion in America.
   
   
8. Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people makes you tall.
   
   
9. Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage license.
   
   
10. Children can never succeed without both male and female role models at home. That's why single parents are forbidden to raise children.
    
    
11. Gay marriage will change the foundation of society. Heterosexual marriage has been around for a long time, and we could never adapt to new social norms because we haven't adapted to cars or longer lifespans.
    
    
12. Civil unions, providing most of the same benefits as marriage with a different name are better, because a "separate but equal" institution is always constitutional. Separate schools for African-Americans worked just as well as separate marriages will for gays & lesbians.