The Onion: can it predict the future?

GOP Throws All Financial Support Behind One Candidate

SCOTTSDALE, AZ—With just seven days remaining until the mid-term elections, the National Republican Congressional Committee has allocated its remaining $256 million cash-on-hand to Arizona incumbent J. D. Hayworth's campaign, in the hopes of retaining at least one House seat. "Considering Rep. Hayworth's strong stance against terrorism and this infusion of money, we're feeling really good about this race," said White House chief strategist Karl Rove, who is personally managing the remainder of Hayworth's campaign from his Scottsdale office."He's going to be in a very competitive position if he spends just 90 percent of this money attacking [challenger Harry] Mitchell." Hayworth will be joined at campaign events this week by 23 prominent Republicans, including Dick Cheney, John McCain, Bill Frist, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Rudolph Giuliani, Ted Nugent, and Rupert Murdoch. In a poll released today, Mitchell leads Hayworth by six points.

T minus 8 days

Although I should be preparing for my upcoming cardio exam, I'm spending most of my time looking at election news. I looks like Ohio is safe in terms of the Senate, and tonight we have some exciting news showing Jim Webb up by 5 points in Virginia. With only 8 days to go, any positive momentum in the VA, MO, or TN senate races is really encouraging. And 5 points in VA is huge.

I'm also hearing encouraging rumors about Ford's internal polling numbers in TN. They're internals, so I won't trust them until I see similar results from Rasumssen, SUSA, etc., but they're encouraging nonetheless.

How am I supposed to study renal vascular hypertension when the fate of the Senate hangs in the balance? C'mon, let's get this exam over with...

Two weeks left

Hi everyone. I'm back...sort of. School is kicking my butt and I'm feeling as busy as ever, but the election is two weeks away. And we all know what I'm most concerned about.

Along those lines, this will be a short post, except for the list below. It's part of a pre-election Google bomb. In short, these are the links that I (and many others) are the best descriptions of the candidates listed below. And, fortunately, we know that Google will pick up on it...

--AZ-Sen: Jon Kyl
--AZ-01: Rick Renzi
--AZ-05: J.D. Hayworth
--CA-04: John Doolittle
--CA-11: Richard Pombo
--CA-50: Brian Bilbray
--CO-04: Marilyn Musgrave
--CO-05: Doug Lamborn
--CO-07: Rick O'Donnell
--CT-04: Christopher Shays
--FL-13: Vernon Buchanan
--FL-16: Joe Negron
--FL-22: Clay Shaw
--ID-01: Bill Sali
--IL-06: Peter Roskam
--IL-10: Mark Kirk
--IL-14: Dennis Hastert
--IN-02: Chris Chocola
--IN-08: John Hostettler
--IA-01: Mike Whalen
--KS-02: Jim Ryun
--KY-03: Anne Northup
--KY-04: Geoff Davis
--MD-Sen: Michael Steele
--MN-01: Gil Gutknecht
--MN-06: Michele Bachmann
--MO-Sen: Jim Talent
--MT-Sen: Conrad Burns
--NV-03: Jon Porter
--NH-02: Charlie Bass
--NJ-07: Mike Ferguson
--NM-01: Heather Wilson
--NY-03: Peter King
--NY-20: John Sweeney
--NY-26: Tom Reynolds
--NY-29: Randy Kuhl
--NC-08: Robin Hayes
--NC-11: Charles Taylor
--OH-01: Steve Chabot
--OH-02: Jean Schmidt
--OH-15: Deborah Pryce
--OH-18: Joy Padgett
--PA-04: Melissa Hart
--PA-07: Curt Weldon
--PA-08: Mike Fitzpatrick
--PA-10: Don Sherwood
--RI-Sen: Lincoln Chafee
--TN-Sen: Bob Corker
--VA-Sen: George Allen
--VA-10: Frank Wolf
--WA-Sen: Mike McGavick
--WA-08: Dave Reichert